There are many more bachelors well beyond the age of marriage in any society today than ever but they refuse to take the jump for fear of rendering responsibility to many young women without husbands. It is not about mothers who would not let their sons leave home or the economic and political situations that has made them underemployed or unemployed. Even those young men, who have good jobs or prospects, procrastinate about getting married.
As if we do not have enough competition between men for that woman or between women for that man, some of these young men hide under the wrapper of some married women. Why should they marry if they are getting it by succumbing to married women’s tender care? The fact is if they are getting it from girlfriends, she expects commitment to marriage in return but with a married woman, there is no responsibility whatsoever. So do not blame it on the young girl who gives it out in order to can keep him. Retaining virginity for marriage is mostly a passé.
Let us face it. The infatuation with older women started before he becomes a man. Most men learned the intricacies of sex from an older lady. What has changed these days is the drive towards equality that has rewarded women in the work place with money and power. As men get used to the power of women, they feel more comfortable reporting them for taking advantage, without being laughed at. More important is the fact that there is a tendency for equal punishment for abuse by either sex. Before that, men will deride men who report ladies.
There are more reports of female teachers abusing their students these days. In those days, teachers were generous trophies lucky students bragged about. This used to be the field men specialized in and were severely punished for. So it is not that these seducing women suddenly arrived from Mars. It is now clear that the fantasizing was not on the part of students alone, some pretty teachers also dream about their male students.
All the focus on women started when studies kept on substantiating the fact that more and more married women are cheating on their spouse equally as men, especially in the workplace. In 1953 study of Alfred Kinsley about 50% of men and 26% of women cheated on their spouse. Compare that to Ball State University study in 1997 that found that 50% of both sexes under the age of 40 years were likely to cheat. So women were just conditioned to be less assertive.
Married women do it for the same reason married men do it. Focus and details may differ but it boils down to money and power. Men do it because they can, and women do it because they can’t? There are all kinds of theories that men do it for sex and women do it for love. Bull! A compulsive cheater will always cheat without self control when the environment is right and they are at advantage. But why deny a single sister hers when you have already married yours?
Because women would marry that man for the security and the maturity he provides for her and her children. No matter what, those married women who go after a single man may know very well that he may not be able to provide for all their needs but she will settle for that single man’s well endowed body carved in her head. Some men and women just cannot take their eyes off a hot body hoping and waiting for the right time to strike. Women may first display their colored fins or tails in such a way to get attention like their animal cousins.
Moreover, women have certain gifts that are hardly displaced by men; they are not sloppy and are more discreet. That is one of the reasons they got away with taking advantage of the poor weaker sex for so long. These days always, they live longer but can now stay pretty for ages. With all the improvement in sciences, they can also get frozen sperm or in vitro fertilization for that young kid who is worried about not becoming a father.
While about 65% of women fear that their men may fall in love with someone else, which is their main problem, 53% of men care more about losing their wives to sexual partners. Indeed, men sigh of relief when they found out that their wives’ sexual partner is a female, but may kill if it is a male. That may have something to do with the fantasy of joining both females in bed as if he can please both at the same time.
The young single women could not have had worse competitors. You cannot claim what does not belong to you and may even upset what you dearly wish for if you raised hell. If she raised hell with the young man’s member of the family it might be seen as being possessive and the last place she would raise hell was with the husband of the married woman. She might get the boyfriend into trouble and destroy another home. That is why many suffer in silence out of view.
On the other hand, single girls the other hand, single girls who compete for married man are labeled home wreckers. Their case is so obvious, nobody pities them. Some would wish the worst of calamities fall on them. If they accept the role of the second or third wife, they are no more single ladies. They are bona fide women expected to play the role of honey, emi oga.
Indeed, this topic could as well be Married Men Who Contribute to the Numbers of Spinsters. But in view of the fact that unmarried women are increasing outnumbering men in most of our societies, difference must be accorded in favor of single women. It is the men who would buy expensive gift for their wives after cheating on her. (I wonder what those women who do not cook anymore buy their men). Men are even allowed by religions and cultures to have more than one woman as long as he can provide for each and love them equally.
As the advantages mount on the other side of the coin, some married women have increased their grab to single men. It must be fairly stated that some married women who want to cheat as men do prefer other married men because of immaturity of single men or the fear that they may become possessive and dislocate their stable marriage.
Farouk Martins Aresa @oomoaresa